The cool breeze was gently tickling my face, I opened my eyes to see the vast blue sky while listening to the shimmering birds and enjoy the warmth of the dazzling sun. So I thought to myself this could be a better day. However, and like every other single day, it was spent on a haze where I was not able to remember any well-spent moment and amidst all this meaninglessness I have simply decided to go to sleep so that maybe I could wake up to a better tomorrow. So, that is exactly what I did. I did not know what the dark night held for me. I suddenly opened my eyes and I expected to see the sun rays greeting me from the window, however, all I could see was darkness, darkness and even more darkness. I felt my chest tighten and my breath became heavy all of the sudden. It was almost as if there was some invisible hands trying to strangle me. This is when I realized that I was having another panic attack so I tried to calm myself down and think of happy moments. It was hard to stay calm and positive in such a situation.
When I’ve had enough of all this internal madness I got up and walked out of the room in the hope of being able to catch my breath again. Once I was out of my bedroom all I could see was the staircase, so I climbed the stairs until there were no more stairs to climb. I quickly found myself standing on the rooftop of a 5-floor building at 3 in the morning, having absolutely no idea what I am doing. However, I didn’t stop on the contrary. I felt my feet keep carrying me forward, to the edge, and I only stopped when I reached a dead end and by dead I mean if I were to take one more step I’d fall and die. I began to have a dialogue with myself.
”Okay, let’s do it, I am too tired of this life… “Come on stop being a coward for once in your life and take a decision”
“But why, should I die?” I asked myself.
I quickly responded to myself “To escape this hipocritical world. Didn’t you have enough of dealing with these people who don’t even try to understand you?”
“But how is at loss when I take my life me or them; of course it’s me”
And then my head started throbbing for this excessive thinking and this never-ending war so I let the tears that I‘ve been holding back slip through my eyes and break down letting the floor welcome me again ,for I was its most frequent guest. When I was done crying , I collected my shattered pieces from the floor and went back to my room. I decided that it was not time yet to declare defeat against this dirty world we are living in. I threw myself in my bed and buried my head in my pillow hoping that sleep would find its way to me thinking that “THANKFULLY I SURVIVED ANOTHER NIGHT.”