Opposition Unite by Uri Savir, Israel

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In a small shabby café in the outskirts of Ashkelon, two men are whispering to each other in a conspiratorial tone, sipping their Turkish coffee.

This is already the fifth meeting of Natfali (one of the leaders of the settlers’ movement) and Akram (a West Bank Hamas Leader).

They differ, of course, on every possible issue, except for the one that brought them together in the first place: how to sabotage the peace process.

Naftali – I think we are succeeding to intimidate Bibi, you know he is not much of a hero.

Akram – More of a hero than Abu Mazen. We are making sure that he will be afraid to make one step outside of his office. What a traitor! He actually met with Israeli students!

Naftali – The students are the traitors! To meet with the head of the PLO?! What next?

They switch topics as the waiter approaches them – “Great victory by BARCA ha! Inshallah they will become champions!”

***

Back to their peace abolishment business:

Akram – Naftali, I think you guys should establish an illegal outpost in the Jerusalem area that will aggravate both the Palestinians and the Americans.

Naftali – Don’t worry about the Americans, don’t you know that Obama is a “Muslim”?

Akram – But Kerry has a “Jewish brother”!

Naftali – In return for us making some havoc with a new settlement, you should ignite some demonstration next to a settlement, some bravado stone throwing could not hurt! And don’t forget to invite the press.

Both take notes of every word. Their cell phones are turned off to prevent them from being bothered.

Akram – Naftali, your best guy is Uri Ariel, the housing Minister. We love him! Tell him to announce the building of 500 new housing units the moment Kerry lands here again. And Bennett should be briefed to refuse anything related to the 1967 lines, together with some of his Likud friends. That would help us a bit.

Naftali – This is a give and take. You guys need to talk to some of your Fatah friends; they have to refuse any Israeli presence by the Jordan River. Netanyahu is obsessed with it!

Akram – See it as a done deal. We should also corroborate the accusations against Kerry. Ayalon did a good job in accusing him of peace obsession but it wasn’t strong enough. We must demoralize him.

Naftali- The man is delusional. How in his right mind can he believe that Israelis and Palestinians can share common interests, common actions and cooperate?!

Akram – We; you and us, will convince him otherwise.

They shake hands with camaraderie.

Naftali- I’ll see you soon brother.

Uri Savir,

Founder of YaLa Young Leaders and Co-Founder of the Peres Center for Peace

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